


tears; it's the new us

by afterah



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Post canon, angst but not too much cause is a short one, relationship study too cause catradora might be a little... toxic, the beggining is very soft tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 23:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17130986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afterah/pseuds/afterah
Summary: Catra takes one step close. "You know why I won't allow myself depending on you anymore?"She's face to face."Because when I did, you tore me apart."or the one where they break





	tears; it's the new us

**Author's Note:**

> hy guys!!!!
> 
> so just for you to know, english isnt my first language so im so sorry for the mistakes that might happen to be here
> 
> constructive critics are welcome so i can improve the language and my writing
> 
> i hope you like it!
> 
> read the tags!!!!

There are things you just learned on Bright Moon.

Politeness.

Art.

Music.

How to dance.

How to say thank you.

How to be comfortable around strange people.

You learned about new words and different aspects in life that Horde would never present you to.

Although you're grateful, you're _extremely afraid._

Sometimes you feel like a child again. _No._ Actually, you feel like a child for the first time - now you understand what youth should be about.

You try to keep up at the conversations but it's difficult, even with your best friends around to appease your mind and correct your blunders. Everything is different from what you know. Everything tastes, looks and sounds new.

So, you stay mostly quiet and listening. Absorving.

One day, someone is telling a story about their first time surfing. Bow had to explain what that meant.

On the other, after a whole day arguing strategies at war, Glimmer and a couple of princesses gather around to 'gossip' and talk.

They're shocked to know you had never kissed.

You feel so dubious with their reactions that you don't even mention that, before this day, you hadn't known what a kiss was.

During breaks and not preparing for battles or fight in them, you go skydiving, dancing, watching something called a play, learning the basics at piano and playing a game known as soccer.

But mostly, you realize what happiness is.

You start to understand genuinely how to _feel it._

-/-/-

You're all hanging out on Glimmer's room when your past comes in a curious way.

"-because they're such a pretty _couple._ "

Couple.

You had never heard of that word before. When you ask for the meaning, your friends look at you weirdly.

"You don't know what a couple is?" Bow says and you wonder if you should feel sorry for yourself. "The Horde never mentioned anything about human relationships?"

"I don't believe they see that as a important thing. Um, I know what 'parent' and 'friend' mean."

"Well, glad they shed some light on that."

Glimmer raises an eyebrown at the boy.

"My parents were a couple before- _before._ "

You sign with your head. Okay, maybe you get it.

"Hm. Parents and couples are the same thing?"

"Could be." She turns to you. "A couple is when two people who like each other be together."

"So... we're a couple?"

Bow giggles and Glimmer's cheeks turn red. " _No._ Not that _kind_ of being together."

At those moments, you realise how distinc you were raised from them. Bright Moon's culture revolves at conversations and family and friends and festivities. Before the War, you very much doubt people who weren't interested in military matters even learned how to use weapons. How to be violent.

Horde teaches the opposite. You were raised to fight. You were raised to be a leader and to be prepared. You were raised to never fence off.

When you left, you believed you had learned everything necessary to face the world and it's people.

But here you are.

Every single day learning that you don't know the _basics._

"Have you ever looked at someone you think is nice and good-looking and felt something strange down to your stomach or in your chest?" Glimmer says friendly. "And when you realize you feel that way, the person never stops appearing in your thoughts?"

You do. And you feel your whole body warming up.

_Catra._

(You can't tell she was the one who appeared in your mind. You're _ashamed_ that she is.)

"If that person feels that too" Glimmer continuous. "and you communicate about your feelings, you'll probably become a couple."

-/-/-

During that night all you can think about is your life back at Horde. With her.

Maybe, if Catra wasn't so-

Maybe, if you could-

Maybe, if you stayed, you would-

But you didn't. The Horde lied and the Horde is cruel and kills innocent people. Catra always knew that and never told you. Catra stayed with them, still.

She's one of _them._

She's bad.

She's evil.

(She maybe lost.)

(No. She _chose_ that.)

You try stop thinking about her.

You try.

And try.

And try.

-/-/-

_"You're my best friend, Catra."_

_"You're my person, Adora."_

-/-/-

Weeks later, you're during a battle when you see her.

It makes you extremely angry and betrayed by your eyes, because she's so far away from you and seems not even being _interested_ on _wasting_ her time with She-ra.

It makes your rage high, because you try not giving two fucks to the upgrade on the girl's clothes and how now her uniform seems to accentuate Catra's body, or how her hair is bigger and fuller, or how she's even more prettier than you remember, or how your mind for a second doesn't care about your ex-best friend fighting against _you._

You just want to reach out to her. You just want to talk to her. You just want to-

You feel stressed. Provoked. You know she knows you saw her because now she has that fucking smirk on her face. You know she knows because now that beautiful two-colored eyes are looking at yours.

You raise your eyebrown.

You read her lips. _"Hy Adora."_

Oh, shit.

"Adora!" Someone screams and you're drown back to reality when three Horde's members are coming directly to you followed by two extremely big machines pointing their weapons and you were distracted by her.

You raise your sword and there's too much energy running through your body.

For the honor of Grayskull. Or for your own honor?

You attack.

You're so fast you don't even see. You're so fast they're all down in a blink. You're so fast you have enough time to search for her and see her smirking at you.

 _Good job,_ she would say, if this was a simulation two years ago.

_You're amazing, Adora, but not without my help._

_You're so good, Adora, but I'm going to be captain._

Fuck you, Catra.

You point your sword at her, as a challenge. I'm here. Come and get it.

She does.

Moments later, you see yourself cutting off branches of trees with hope that some might destabilize her.

She has a cat's inheritance running through her veins, so it's clear that Catra is amused by your attempt. You had to remind yourself you're She-ra, and you were better than her even before that.

You jump, uses a trunk as support and your sword goes centimeters to her hair. Some minimum part is cut off, and Catra's eyes burns.

She shows her claws and tries to attack you, but you hold her wrists with so much force and pulls her.

You two fall.

The impact is so intense that for a moment you lose your breath. Catra falls away from you and takes a second for your sight to recover, just to focus your eyes and having to use your instincts so fast when you see her. You roll to the side to not be hit by Catra.

You throw your body on top of hers and hold her there. She trys to set herself free, but she can't.

She never could, even when you were kids and trained together.

Even when you were friends and played together.

"Im better than you." You feel the need of claiming that.

"Let's see."

"I'm on top of you."

"For now." She raises an eyebrown. "Maybe i'm just winning time."

"Maybe you're just a shitty liar and is trying to come up with a plan to-"

"That's me winning time, Adora." She rools her eyes. "I'm not a shitty liar. I've been lying for years now."

"I know. But I know you too well to know when you are."

For one second, you can see something on her eyes. She looks like backing off. You swear you can see her being... vunerable.

Catra bites her lip. "You used to know me. Now you're a fucking stranger."

"You made me this."

"You left."

"I did the right thing to do."

"The right thing for _who_ , Adora?"

"For everyone."

"Well, not for _me."_

You stare at her. You are aware of people fighting somewhere behind you, where the Horde put down trees to liberate some space for the machines to pass. You are also aware that where you two are, with your bodies laid on the ground, no one could see what is happening.

No one has time. Everyone is in battle, and you are She'ra, but you can't stop looking at her. You can't stop feeling this way.

"Catra."

_"What?"_

"Why do we keep fighting with each other? Why don't we just... Stop?"

She faces you.

"What are you talking about."

"Why do we keep doing that?" You feel desperate. Your mind is racing. "I know if you really wanted to kill me you would already have. If I wanted to kill you I-"

"You would never wanted to kill me."

"No. Neither would you."

She's silent.

She's not trying to get off anymore. The pull on your hip settles down.

"Stop that."

"Catra-"

"Stop."

"Catra."

You don't know how, but your hands reach her face. She's free if she wants to, but Catra doesn't move. She just... closes her eyes.

You feel her breathing irregularly. You feel her chest going up and down.

Maybe, if she-

Maybe, if you-

Your mind goes back to that day.

To that _word._

You shouldn't feel this way. You shouldn't think about that now.

But you do. And is suffocating you.

"If I stayed, maybe we would be a couple now."

Catra freezes, and you realize she knows what this word means.

"Adora." She says quietly.

You put your lips on her's.

That's called a kiss.

You kiss her, and the world stops.

You kiss her and you were never She-ra. You're just Adora, the girl who had needed her best friend to hold her hand at night when you had nightmares.

You kiss her and she's just Catra, the girl who never left your mind on this peculiar way since you became a teenager.

You kiss her and she's Catra, your best friend who made your life amazing in a place where the pressure were too much and happiness was too little.

(Now you understand.)

You kiss her, and you see you two together, in a world where the War never existed and the Horde never corrupted both of you.

You kiss her and she kisses you back.

Catra kisses you and pulls your body close to hers. Catra kisses you and if you hadn't know her so well you would never feel her curling her tail on your leg.

She likes that. She is enjoying kissing you.

Then, she stops and pushes you.

Her eyes are shining.

It's tears.

"We can't."

"Catra."

"You betrayed me."

"It's not like that, I-"

"You _left_ me." She cries and gets up. She puts a distance between you two. "You can't just do that. You can't leave me and do _that._ "

"I didn't mean to leave you. I just couldn't stay there anymore. Not when I knew-"

"Fuck, Adora, you left me! You left me, you fucking left _me._ I don't care what shit moved you to do whatever the fuck you did, but you left me and now you say all those stuff and _kiss me?_ Who the fuck you think you are?"

"You _know._ You know who I am and what I mean to you. What you mean to me."

Catra raises her hand. Her face is red and she looks so overwhelmed you think she might explode.

"You were everything to me, you know?"

It's your time to freeze.

"I know how stubborn I am, but you were special to me."

"Catra-"

"You were." Her eyes focus at yours. She smirks, but you see the anger. "Now you're just some enemy."

It breaks you. "No. Catra. No. We can go back to-"

"Go back to _what?_ I've done things, Adora. I've done terrible things and now I can't go back. Your queen and your little princess would never accept me. They would never trust me."

"I would change their minds."

"That's the problem. They would trust _you,_ not me. I'm a single person. I don't fucking need you."

You lose your voice. Catra takes one step close. "You know why I won't allow myself depending on you anymore?"

She's face to face.

"Because when I did, you tore me apart."

You lose your breathing.

You two just stare at each other.

For second. For a minute. For a moment. For a life-time.

Maybe, if you had never left the Horde, you would destroy Ethernia together.

Maybe she would walk side by side with you, proud.  
  
Maybe you would kiss her at night.

But now, you accept faith had prepared a different path for both of you.

And it hurts. The innocence completely lost.

You lose your best friend, you realize. You lose the person you love most in the world.

What a burden. Loving someone who's going to be your death.

 

**Author's Note:**

> dont forget kudos if you like it!
> 
> hope you did!
> 
> my twitter: @putzgrilx
> 
> xoxo,  
> isadora.


End file.
